What shall we do with the drunken sailor

Dear J'Daphne,

Much missing you I'm sure, there is a fair bit of madness around here but not our sort bizarrely. You would however have an absolute field day perving on everyone. There isnt really a dress code- we walk into shops in bikinis, restaurants without shoes. I've spent many days here without really getting dressed. Plus the beach is life guarded by gaggles of tanned, blond Aussie teens. Although in fairness that's more in Emily's paedobear line...

Other than that though you'd e very disappointed in me. It's all very practical (although i feel myself slowly climbing towards my ever present goal of piratedom. Next Friday we're all going out in Sydney dressed as pirates to celebrate our last day. SWEET.) with lots of knot learning, navigation and jumping about. Dont worry though, I'm not getting too serious. In true pirate style our voyages are often planned around drink. Sadly there has been little rum, but we leave each marina with enough time to get to the next before last orders. At one point we were docking for the last time that day (we were shattered though I dont know why- the other girl and I had spent the entire trip sleeping and tanning) when the skipper turned around and asked whether we needed anything. The correct answer was supposed to be "Fenders on our starboard side."
She leaned over the helm enthusiastically and looked up with a grin. 'A drink?'

I took a break from yachts though last week so my napping days were over- I was learning to dinghy sail (dinghies are basically very small 1-2 man sailboats that capsize VERY easily. Needless to say I spent large quantities of time wet. And not for the good reasons). It was actually very lovely though as 5 of my friends on the course were learning to be dinghy instructors so I got 5 very gorgeous instructors all to myself who forgave me everytime I threw them in the water. it took me at least two days to remember not to let go of the tiller. Oops. Still, I got round to capsize practice very quickly.

Of course it meant that last week was far more chilled out- we had a tv night, a dominoes night, a girly Palmer's butter moisturiser, PB&J sandwiches and nail varnish night and a steak a karaoke night. I'm not gonna lie, I may be a lad at heart but the steak and karaoke night was INCREDIBLE. The boys had all the balls and started, climaxing with a rendition of YMCA so appalling they literally cleared the bar. This of course made it a lot easier for us. Especially when the man with the parrot got one stage. (Yes. I know. We were thinking it too. He was actually a pirate. For clarification, pirates cannot sing. Especially when drunk. This may answer some of the questions posed by 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor'.) Between us we did Allstar, Bright Eyes, Build Me Up Buttercup and I Will Survive. One of the boys was also kind enough to introduce me as 'Tits' when I walked on stage. Nothing changes my love.

In case last week sounded too brilliant, never fear. I am currently on a gap from my gap year. Because y'know, gap yahs are soooo stressful.

My dad turned up in Oz so I get to fulfil my burning ambition to dive the barrier reef. There was a hilarious culture shock when I got off the plane as I went from saving several slices of Dominoes pizza in a tupperware box for tomorrow's lunch and begging for food from the local cafe guy (yeah, I'm not ashamed to say I did both of those things. And just so you know we got free food- a flapjack and a muffin. Which he heated up for us. OH YEAH BABY. Free food ftw) to being with parents which meant free chocolates and drinks and a wet towel to cool you down...

Never fear however- someone recently used the phrase bronzed goddess and I nearly choked with all the feminine grace I dont possess. Although my hair has lightened (probably more to do with highlights than natural sun) and my skin is browner (after it went red. I was briefly Neapolitan (red, white and brown as previously mentioned) but also peeling in every place and covered in bruises. Everywhar!

Other than that all is good my love. My brain is slowly adjusting to a total lack of work. Yesterday I had a thought: siesta and fiesta rhyme.

That is all my babycakes
Muchos amores from uglyface