No, I didnt get eaten by the locals.

Just a bit of Hong Kong. 

OH an in case you were wondering, yes that is a giant Easter bunny lit up on the side of that building. Just a pity I didnt catch the one where the mutant bunny bounces a massive Easter egg.

PS Duffy and Dribble- mainly I was disappointed that it didnt roll it down the stairs...

So this would be me steering a 32ft yacht under the Sydney bridge then tacking round next to the Opera House. Casual.

PS. That was Day One. What are they going to do to us Day 6? Fly the thing?!

OMG. Kangaroos. I'm just saying. At one point during the BBQ it jumped onto the stove looking for food. They were so damned cute. The photos below? I wasnt using zoom. I had a staring match with one of them. I won.

Nature-0 Lizzy-1

This is right next to where we're staying. Just a shout out for any men looking for paradise. It's what it says on the tin.

Dear Dribble,

I'd like to say I wrote this sitting on the bow of the boat, kicking my heels over the ocean and gazing out over Sydney harbour as a bush kangaroo bounces scenically along the shore. Not only would that be heinously pretentious but complete balls as Im sat on a bed eating pasta out of a pan as Prison Break plays in the background. Thats right, I've gone to the ends of the earth and still nothing changes.

Well love this is long overdue so I'll start at the very beginning (its a very good place to start). Sweet mother of God, flying Club World was so painfully luxurious that flying first class must be heaven. Possibly minus the 72 virgins. When I walked on the plane they gave me free champagne which felt a little out of place as families hobbled past me with castles of bags giving me the evils. The stewardess showed me how to put the divider up so I wouldnt have to see. Course the greatest problem was that the constant stream of the bubbly made me so sleepy I crashed with the glass still in my hand. Woke up a bit later with wine down my shirt. Immediate reaction? 'Oh my god I have magic breasts. I lactate Chardonnay!' This was so much less exciting than my other flights (except the one from Hong Kong where they gave me noodles and a pork bun for breakfast. Mmm pork buns. Tell Duffy. He'll weep with jealousy)

Hong Kong was bizarre but much better than I remembered. Largely though I just ate.  They have an equivalent of McD called Cafe de Corale which does fast food chinese- duck on rice in about 3 minutes for 27 HK dollars, aka 3 quid. Mate thats gotta catch on. There was one at the airport and (after my dad took me to the Cathe First class lounge where the woman had looked at my like I was a hobo this random businessman had just dragged in) I buggered off and got some of that. My dad was so disgusted.
I did go out for a bit and managed to ind the bizarrest shop called Food for skin- stuff like sugar exfoliater, red wine moisturiser, beer shampoo and aubergine eyeliner. LEGEND-hope youre not lactose intolerant cause youd hate the egg mayonnaise foundation-DARY. Also, I think youll appreciate tube stop 'Mongkok'. Far wittier than Pickawilly and Shepherd's Bush.

Australia is fantastic- yesterday was the hottest day theyd had in 85 years and today it rained so much it looked like wed just gone for a dip in the sea. I am however Neapolitan- white stomach, brown arms and red back. Id make any Italian proud. Oh and sailing? Love it. Still, you should have seen my skipper's face the first time I was at the helm. 'Turn it', he says, looking at me like pregnant penguin in a zoo, 'just like you'd drive a car'. There was a slightly awkward balloon moment before it dawns. 'You dont drive do you?' That was day one. Day 5 I crashed the boat into the pontoon. Impressive no?
 Its a bit like learning an entirely new language as well- I have to translate into non-salty sea dog speak before I do anything. 'Before you sweat the main halyard you need to release the vang and reefing lines and tighten the topping lift then lets look at the wind, put in a jibe and take a beamreach.' WTF.

I love and miss you my darling like green eggs miss ham
Imaginary cuddles,
Snort